“Fun for the boy, death for the frog.” I don’t know where my dad came up with that saying—I’ve never heard it from anyone else—but, having been a boy, the gruesome truth of that saying has stuck with me. What the boy might consider fun would probably look entirely different from the point of view of the frog, or bird, or ant, or . . . If you’ve ever been a boy, you can probably fill in the blank.
Not all fun is harmless. In fact, not everything that someone calls “harmless fun” really is. Actually, “We were only having a little harmless fun” has been used as an excuse for some pretty harmful behavior. Think of the treatment of slaves, or conquered peoples, or pretty well anyone who has been bullied over the centuries.
Jokes are often not harmless as well. When I was growing up, ethnic jokes centered on Polish people or Jewish mothers, at least where I lived. Others of you might remember Sven and Ole jokes from the upper Midwest, or Italian jokes in the Northeast, or others. Then there were the “moron” jokes. Harmless fun? Not for the people in those groups!
And don’t start me on the topic of sight gags in film, like the Three Stooges or countless others, or on the topic of racial “comedy” like the old minstrel shows.
Most of you know I’m not particularly “politically correct.” As I listen to the “concerns” over the Washington Redskins football franchise I can’t help but remember when Lisa and I took our children in 1998 to do a Vacation Bible School up near where the pavement ends in northern Saskatchewan. On the way we stopped at Glacier National Park, and enjoyed a very enlightening program put on by Native American people. At the end I asked one of the leaders about what how we should refer to the children of the village we were going to. Since they were Canadian, I didn’t think “Native American” was a good choice. He said, “I just call myself Indian!” As it turns out, so did they. In fact, none of us will ever forget the little second-grader who, late in our week with them, turned to me with a little sideways look and asked, “Did you know we’re Indians?”
So I’m not talking about “political correctness.” I’m simply talking about the fact that, for it to really be fun, everyone involved should have fun. If the story seems funny, imagine telling it in front of the people referenced in it. If they would find it funny, or would enjoy telling it themselves, fine—otherwise, it’s probably not “harmless fun.”
But there is plenty of fun that’s harmless, even beneficial! Take our wearing red in church for Reformation or Pentecost. I put on my red socks, and many of you wear some pretty bright red, just for fun. It’s no big deal if you choose not to, or forget, but if you have some red and enjoy wearing it, that’s fun. Perhaps it seems a little silly to some, but so what? It’s just us, and we’re having a good time.
Think about the times when you’ve really had a blast with others, and when you woke up the next morning, you had nothing to regret, and maybe wished you could do it all again. Some of those times live in our memories for years, and are the foundation of our sense of the “good ole days.”
Years ago I was working with a young man who had, in a drunken stupor, damaged our church’s cemetery. We talked several times, and one day he asked me, “Pastor, when you get together with some of the church people, what do you do? I know you don’t go out and get drunk or stoned, so how do you have fun?” Poor kid. I don’t think he had any sense of what it’s like to have real joy, to be with people you love and enjoy their company. And there are millions like him out there.
So wrestle with your kids (without breaking anything, of course), tell knock-knock jokes with a second-grader, tube down a river, drive north with your spouse till the leaves turn color, build your relationships with the people you will spend eternity with. Leave out jokes that poke fun at certain people, and refrain from hurting any animals. There are so many ways to enjoy some harmless fun!
What’s the benefit? I suspect that enjoying truly harmless fun can lead to actual joy. We were created to be in relationship with each other, to love each other, serve each other, and laugh with each other. Too much of what we “do” together isn’t actually “doing” anything. We sit beside someone and watch a game or a movie, but much of that just kills time. Far better to spend time in ways that help us be more relaxed and comfortable with each other, with small conversation opening up the relationship to more important discussions.
Rather than, “Fun for the boy, death for the frog,” maybe we need to find ways that “A good time was had by all.”
– Pastor Moore
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